[Mz.Anonymous]

Okay i recently had a conversation with my bf and some interesting things came out.He says that as his girl what he needs from me is to cook for him,clean for him and make sure he's taken care of(u know).Now as yall know this pissed me off cuz it sounds so sexist and I cant be with a sexist,chauvenistic man.Now i do know that as a wife cooking and cleaning is a responsibility but where is the line between is being just that or it being "your place".And what made it worst was when i asked him what he was supposed to do he told me it was to bring home the bacon and throw out the trashNow Dhaz fam,please clarify for ur sista,is it just me or is this dude straight out of the 40s and 50s.

[Mz.Anonymous]

maybe i should clear sum things up,first of all we are not married,and secondly we dont live together.my problem isnt helping him out,my issue is when he says that he didnt eat bcuz i didnt come to his house to cook dinner for him. in mind he is a certified CHEF people!!!
but to address wat bussa is sayin im not sayin im a slave bcuz he wants me to help,but when ur not willin to put in sum work too and help in ur own house dats what i dont get,know what i mean? and im not a kind of woman to sit on my ass all day and not do anything either if i didnt have to work i still couldnt do that cuz its not me....

[spiffykleen]

Originally Posted by Ganjagal

real bullshit him a talk. That is real sexist that is how fellas back in the day used to carry on nowadays he cant get away with that.

I bet it's sexist when a man want a woman to cook and clean. But when a woman want a man to cook and clean, it's "carrying your weight around the house".

Really, I think our women need to know that there are differences and responsibilities attached to those differences. For example, a man can't have children, much less breastfeed them (and don't even think of throwing baby formula in my face).

The way I see it, mr. man mentioned bringing home the bacon and taking out the trash. That don't sound like a lazy man to me.

[Mr. Marcus ™]

on a board thats dominated by women, you cant make realistic comments like that mayne

they gonna destroy you


im kidding ... or am i

[Mr. Marcus ™]

what i want to know is:

Since when has taking care of your family as a woman been a bad thing?


Maybe this is the cause of why there are so many broken homes in the black community. There is no sense of family structure. I am not saying that it is solely a womans job to take care of the household duties, but whats wrong with it? If your in a family and you have kids and a husband, wouldn't you want to take care of them by cooking or cleaning for them? When did it become a punishment?

[Spiderj86]

Originally Posted by spiffykleen

I bet it's sexist when a man want a woman to cook and clean. But when a woman want a man to cook and clean, it's "carrying your weight around the house".

Really, I think our women need to know that there are differences and responsibilities attached to those differences. For example, a man can't have children, much less breastfeed them (and don't even think of throwing baby formula in my face).

The way I see it, mr. man mentioned bringing home the bacon and taking out the trash. That don't sound like a lazy man to me.

spiffy kleen, you have 4 posts and -o.55 points?

i bring home the bacon I'm at work from 8:45 to 6:00 when i get home, i don't sit down, i get started on cooking, while I'm cooking I'm cleaning up the living room, dining room, washing and wiping the dishes cleaning up the kitchen making sure the bathroom is all spick and span, help my sister with her home work fix my room, while the men in the house sit back and watch T.V. because they also bring home the bacon and JUST TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

get this, if 2 people work and bringing in the money, all the work should be shared to everyone. if I'm cooking, some one can clean out the bathroom, if i wash and wipe the dishes, someone can clean up the table, while I'm helping my sis with her hw, someone can clean the living room.

don't expect me to do everything all the damn time. Come on man. I ain't no damn slave, i work harder then they do in the house. Give me a break

by the time i'm done it's 12 at night, and i go straight to bed.

to wake up 7:30 and do it all again.

[Mr. Marcus ™]

^ yeah, everyone should help in the household ... laziness is not an option


but, for the most part women can relate more to taking care of kids and cooking

im not saying men cant do it ... just women do it better

[spiffykleen]

Originally Posted by .-¤ Ç®ØöKëÐ ¤-.

^

but, for the most part women can relate more to taking care of kids and cooking

im not saying men cant do it ... just women do it better

My point exactly. I'm not tryna advocate for male lazyness here. I'm just saying, some activities are more suited to womanhood and no matter how hard we fight this, the facts are the facts.

Let me put it this way. If you had a man who didn't have a job/money but he helped around the house a lot, how long would you stay with him till you shouted, "get a job!!!"?

Guys should help out at home. But if wifey don't wanna cook or clean 'cos she's got a job, that just ain't right.

[Spiderj86]

Originally Posted by spiffykleen

My point exactly. I'm not tryna advocate for male lazyness here. I'm just saying, some activities are more suited to womanhood and no matter how hard we fight this, the facts are the facts.

Let me put it this way. If you had a man who didn't have a job/money but he helped around the house a lot, how long would you stay with him till you shouted, "get a job!!!"?

Guys should help out at home. But if wifey don't wanna cook or clean 'cos she's got a job, that just ain't right.

If he was helping out around the house, like completely, i wouldn't shout at him to get a job if i'm making a good bit of dough.

he's like my own little maid that i don't have to pay.

[spiffykleen]

Originally Posted by vixen

If he was helping out around the house, like completely, i wouldn't shout at him to get a job if i'm making a good bit of dough.

he's like my own little maid that i don't have to pay.

Hey Vixen, I'm kinda new here (duh). Forgive the dumb question, but Is that you in the avatar? That pic's cute-lovely! I digress.

I guess you're man's prolly pissed 'cos he'dve wanted the same thing from you but you've got your own money. Don't be too mad at him.

[Remi Martyn]

def sounds like an old fashoined guy.

[Spiderj86]

Originally Posted by spiffykleen

Hey Vixen, I'm kinda new here (duh). Forgive the dumb question, but Is that you in the avatar? That pic's cute-lovely! I digress.

I guess you're man's prolly pissed 'cos he'dve wanted the same thing from you but you've got your own money. Don't be too mad at him.

yeah thats me.Thank you. but my bf actually makes more than I do. I make a good bit, and we actually share the views on sharing the responsibilities.

after knowing him for 5 years, we pretty much have grown on each other and the way we think, not all the time, is very similar.

He's extraordinarily smart, and has more common sense then most guys, he's the type I can trust my life with, even if we break up(God forbid) so i trust he's not gonna put all the house chores on me.

[Caribbean Royalty]

And what exactly is he gonna do to provide for the family seeing as you BOTH work. Surely if u both work you should both be doing the chores. That one was easy.

[Spiderj86]

Originally Posted by Caribbean Royalty

And what exactly is he gonna do to provide for the family seeing as you BOTH work. Surely if u both work you should both be doing the chores. That one was easy.

well i can also work at home. Thats sort of why i chose my field, so when we start having kids i can stay home and work with them.

[Mz.Anonymous]

well to address the whole "taking out trash" and "bringing home the bacon" issue.He dont bring me the bacon,dats his money and he dont take out my trash cuz we do not live together.You men keep talkin about taking care of family.How many times do i have to say that we are not married,have no children and do not live together???being a wife is a whole nother issue(which i am not) but we are just in a relationship.I have no problem helping out but what happens when u are being elevated to the role of wife without a real marriage?

[Spiderj86]

Originally Posted by Mz.Anonymous

well to address the whole "taking out trash" and "bringing home the bacon" issue.He dont bring me the bacon,dats his money and he dont take out my trash cuz we do not live together.You men keep talkin about taking care of family.How many times do i have to say that we are not married,have no children and do not live together???being a wife is a whole nother issue(which i am not) but we are just in a relationship.I have no problem helping out but what happens when u are being elevated to the role of wife without a real marriage?

ahhhhhhhhhh


i see what you getting at now.