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ralph the rooster
A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants
chicks.So, he
goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a
rooster that he would sell.
The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster,
named Ralph.
He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."
Well, Ralph the rooster costs $3,000.00, a lot of
money, but the farmer
decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ralph.
The farmer
takes Ralph home and sets him down in the barnyard,
but first he
gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself
now.
You've got
a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of
money.
Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your
time and have
some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Ralph seems to
understand, so
the farmer points toward the hen house and Ralph takes off
like a shot.
WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three or
four times, and the
farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a
commotion in the duck
open and, sure enough, Ralph is in there. Later, the farmer
sees Ralph
after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again - WHAM!
He gets all
the geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the fields
chasing quail and
pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his
expensive rooster
won't even last 24 hours.
Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next
morning to find
Ralph on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth
open, tongue hanging
out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards
are circling overhead. The farmer,
saddened by the loss of such a colorful and
expensive
animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ralph, I told you to
pace yourself.
I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done
to yourself."
Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in
the sky and
says,"Shhhh! They're getting closer."
There aint none like me
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